bands
The Submissionaries · Kelso Sorensen - guitar, vocals · Gregg Vossler – bass, vocals · Ingela Pelomaki – vocals · Fredrik Lindell – drums
The Submissionaries were born in a cross-fire hurricane... no wait! That's not right... err... in a dead man's town? To be wild? Actually, none of these are correct. The Submissionaries were born in the earlier part of 2005 as a way to deliver rambling 'comedy' dialogues from the stage of various performance spaces. The idea was for the group to expand upon the basic dialectical techniques of Chinese 'Crosstalk' by the simple method of swearing loudly and repeatedly at the audience and at each other, whilst removing their clothing. The group decided that they could break up their act and give the audience some respite by performing the occasional song between 'skits'. Gradually, as fewer intoxicants were consumed directly before the show, the Submissionaries' tunes became almost as important [and as long] as amusing tales of tractor maintenance in the Canadian grasslands and Gregg's ever changing hair. It was at this point that they became a Band. Overcoming the disadvantages of their vaguely Scandinavian surnames, tendency to leave their equipment in the back of taxis, total refusal to mimic Joy Division basslines and the fact that Kelso liked to wear shorts on stage whilst Fredrik (the drummer) wore very little at all, the band persevered to the point where Beijing venue-owners actually talked to them. A hardcore fan base soon developed. Fans who didn't mind being likened to female genitalia by the band. Fans who liked their sweet sweet rock and roll. Enter international recording operation and all round nice guys - Tag Team Records. In June 2005, The Submissionaries were locked into a studio by label overlord Matt Kagler. Subsisting on a diet of take away kebabs, macrobiotic butter and vast quantities of cheap alcohol distilled from pine needles, the band somehow managed to keep it together long enough to issue the dazzling little gem of an EP - Royal Jelly. The initial pressing of 5,000,000 discs flew of the shelves, finding special favour with Japanese whalers, for reasons that no one could ever adequately fathom.
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